The 15 Types Of Cyclists We All Hate

Everyone hates cyclists. Even Cyclists hate cyclists.

Of course, this is a problem on a website about, and for bikes. There’s a real possibility the list could end up with nothing more than why cyclists rule the world, and car drivers are all morons. But nothing could be further than the truth.

Because when you think about it, there are assholes in every walk of life, whether it be cyclists or circus clowns. Now if I were a circus clown I’m sure there would be an entire category of stereotypical clowns who only smile when the face paint is on.

As cyclists ourselves however we all know too well the personality rage transplants that seem to happen to people when they get behind the wheel of a car. But it’s not just motorists who can change. It happens to cyclists too.

Don’t Think That’s True?

See if you’ve changed your mind by the time you get to the end of this list, and see if you recognize someone you know. Was anyone on the list, you?

Cycling without lights on

The 15 Annoying Cyclists We All Hate

Let’s get started with the one who annoys everyone!

The One Riding Without Lights

The cyclist riding without bike lights, at night. Why do we hate them? For me, it’s because the cyclist riding without bike lights, at night seems like they want to die. They literally have a death wish.

Anyone who chooses to ride out on their bike at night without adequate lighting is looking to die. And you know, it’s not just the bike riders that will get knocked over.

Take a minute and think about the poor motorist who just knocked them over. Is it fair to them? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being like crazy reactionary about it, but we cyclists are vulnerable road users enough as it is. It’s not like you’re a freeriding stealth ninja. Get a set of lights!!!

And if you have to ride at night, get yourself some high Vis clothes as well. Sure you won’t look cool, but at least you might get home alive. If you don’t want to use lights, at least stay in the cycle lanes. No wonder motorists hate cyclists!

Cyclist with GoPro helmet

The One With Go Pro

The Go Pro rider giving you weird looks because you cycled through his shot. Sorry.
No really. I’m really sorry.

Did my just having to be going down a public trail at speed get in the way of your latest ‘Crazy Fast Wipeout Video: Racing Bike!!!!’ YouTube movie. Aw shucks.

Here is a suggestion. Maybe next time, don’t choose to try and make a video of your ride on a public trail on a Sunday morning. You know when it’s like really busy. Just saying!


Road bikers turning

The Ones Who Think Charity Rides Are Races

Next on the list are cyclists who think charity rides are races. Oh, these people annoy the Hell out of me, make no mistake. I took my nephew to one last year. It was his first big collective ride with others.

There we were on the start line, local press taking photo after photo of the cute kid on the Spiderman BMX, asking the scruffy-looking bloke on the beat-up mountain bike beside him to get out of the shot. That was me by the way. They were asking me to get out of the shot.

Then all of a sudden, up comes the local ‘pro’ bike riding club jockeying for position at the front of the race. Did I say race? I meant a charity ride. They have got no speed limit, really!

These guys all had matching jerseys and kits and almost all of them had identical bikes. They looked like extras from a badly shot science fiction movie. Not only did one of them nearly knock Spider-Man off his bike as he set himself up for his race, but then they openly started mocking my 10-year-old Kona and said:

‘Dude, you’ll never win a race on that thing.’

No shit Sherlock. I am surely not a fan of people who turn everything into a competition.

Track bikes

The Ones That Are Stalkers

You know the type I mean. I’m totally cool with drafting other riders if you know them, or you’re on some club ride or something. It’s the done thing. It’s kind of expected. These days whenever I head out on the road bike with my buddies, I literally spend all my time drafting.

It’s the only way I can keep up with them. I tend to take the lead on the downhills because of the extra weight I’m carrying. But that’s cool. Because we all know the score.But you know when it’s not expected? When I’m out there on my own on a Sunday afternoon, and all of a sudden I have a stalker sitting right on my back wheel.

A free lift home is totally fine. But random strangers? Give me a break. At least say hi, or something. If you are this rider. It’s really not cool. Stop it.

Mountain bikers carrying their bikes

The One Who Is A Crap Video Uploader

The one who post aimless, pointless videos on YouTube with misleading titles, like “MAD CRAZY WIPEOUT on a Mountain Bike” when all that happens is someone falls over, 6 minutes into the video. They ain’t got the road rage and someone is just stumbling in the bike lanes!

Man biking in the winter

The guy who ‘used to be really fit/good/an expert’ (me)

Oh, don’t worry. I’m on this list too. Yep, that’s right. I’m the guy on the mountain bike trail who says at the end of the ride:

‘That was a good ride. Of course, ten years ago, I would have nailed that jump/beaten that guy/not fallen off/ wouldn’t have injured myself/ made it to the top first’

I know, I know. You don’t have to say it. I’m an asshole too. The tragedy? I was never that good, even at my best. Well actually, ten years ago I was. Apart from anything else, no one can compete or compare their performance with another rider based on ghosts. So what if ten years ago I rode X number of miles at an average speed of Y? That doesn’t help me or you, today.
Again, if this is you, please, just stop.

Happy bike mechanic

The Ones Who Adopt Their Bike

The cyclist who thinks their bike is their baby It’s a bike. It’s not a baby. I have two of each. There’s a Hell of a difference. What I mean here, of course, is the guy whose entire day is ruined if his pristine bike frame gets a scratch and who when they clean their bike, has a set of individual brushes for each part.

Just so you know, the pro mountain bike teams take pressure washers to their bikes after races. Get a life.

Bike covered with snow

The Ones Who Don’t Look After Their Bikes

This is just as annoying as the ones above. It’s not like there’s loads to do. Watch for rust, occasionally lube the chain, check the brakes, and give it the occasional clean. Do you have any idea how little effort is involved in keeping a bike clean? Just do it.


Cyclist stopping at a red light

The Ones Who Are Shoaling

The cyclist who was behind you stopped in front of you at the traffic lights.I looked it up. It’s referred to as ‘shoaling,’ apparently. That’s right, it has its own name. Go figure.

Here’s how it works:

You’re riding your bike on the way to work. There’s another guy on a bike behind you. You stop at the traffic light because it’s red. The guy behind you rolls on up, and stops in front of you. Not alongside, not half a wheel didn’t pull the brakes hard enough, but a full two wheels in front.

I’m sorry, but there is no planet where this is acceptable behavior. It’s bad enough when it’s not all that busy, but in rush hour when space is at a premium, this can become a pretty serious issue pretty fast.
Seriously, if you are this person you need to stop, like right now!

Happy cyclist

The Ones Who Just Have To Be The Best

Yep, there’s one in every club, in every bike shop, and on every trail. This typically is the person who after the end of a long day on the road, or the mountain will only ask you how your day went, so he can tell you all about his, and how much further he went than you.

It doesn’t matter to this guy that you might have just beaten your previous best by a minute and a half or went down a black run without falling for the first time ever. It really doesn’t, because this person will just have beaten his best by two minutes while simultaneously having just done some black run down the side of Mount Everest.

My Advice? Ignore them.


Woman on a road bike

The Ones Who Are A Misogynist!

Ladies, this one is for you. You’re out there on the mountain or the road just spinning away enjoying your ride when the unthinkable happens. You cycle past a male member of the human species. Who knows what you do, but more than likely you just say hi, and move on with your life.

But the male, the male can’t handle it! And less than thirty seconds later up he comes, spinning like he’s in the final sprint of the Tour de France trying to keep up with you. After a while, they sprint past, because after all, they’re a man, and men, are faster than ‘girls.’ I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the ego.

But I have been guilty of it myself over the years. I have tried to catch up with the sprinting Goddesses too! Although in my case, whenever I saw someone of the opposite sex on a mountain bike on an actual mountain, I was usually trying to catch up to them to ask for their phone number.
Hey, we were all eighteen once.

Lots of traffic lights

The Ones Who Ignore Traffic Lights

Cyclists who go through red lights. There you are, stopped and patiently awaiting the traffic light to turn green so you can move ahead with your commute to work or whatever. But then two or three other guys just zip past you and take their chances with the steel coated monsters also just trying to move ahead with their own commute.

The horns start blasting, voices and middle fingers are raised, and one day you’re just sure you’re going to see someone getting wiped out on a permanent basis. Just stop at the red lights.


Quiet ride in the nature

The Ones With A Cycling Basket!

Being passed by cyclists with baskets on the front of their bikes is worse. This happened to me earlier this year. It was January, and I was still carrying a little holiday weight from Christmas a few years back.

Anyway, I was out there burning up the miles, looking like a dayglow condom in cycling gear, when out of nowhere, this old farmer guy comes out on a bike from 1967 right in front of me, and then for the next mile and a half, not only could I not catch up with him, he actively managed to increase the distance.

This was also the day I quit riding my bike in favor of running, for quite a long time.
All credit to the guy though. He must have been fit. Either that or my best days really are behind me.


Cyclists taking a selfie

The Ones Wearing Go Spin 360’s

This has to be seen to be believed. Seriously, go check it out here. Don’t get me wrong, I think the 360 is a great idea, but please note just how much of an idiot you look wearing one.

Plus, and this is a minor point, people using the GoSpin look like people with selfie sticks attached to their helmets, and that’s not a good look for anyone.

Not only that, it comes with some pretty serious health warnings, and I can see why. The damn thing is just a broken neck waiting to happen. That or at least the end of your GoPro.

If nothing else, if I ever find the guy who clotheslined me with one back in June, I’m going to have some serious words with him.


Man on a tribike

The Ones That AreUber Fit Cyclists

These are the riders that have no body fat, shave their legs, and look like sponsored professional riders with all their branded matching clothes. But they’re not.

They never are. But they are incredibly focused. These are the guys who go out there and spend $6-800 on handmade wheels so they can beat their best on Strava by another 10 seconds.

What’s really annoying about them though is the fact that most of them only took up cycling at some point in the last 3 years. Coming this late to the sport also makes them super focused, and super-fast. Even on a Sunday ride they always look like they’re training for a triathlon.

What’s even more annoying about them is the fact they only got started because you let them borrow your bike a while back. This was when you were handing out advice to them, and now there’s nothing they don’t know. It’s true.

This type of rider also tends to gather in packs and will look good doing it.


Carefree businessman on a bike

The Ones That Are Chronically Unprepared

This is the rider who never has everything they need for the ride. And they never learn. It’s funny the first time they ask to borrow your multitool and your spare tube.

But this is also the same person who hasn’t bothered to check their tires before heading out, only to discover they’re both soft, and everyone else has to hang around while they try and find the right pressure. If it rains, they’ve no wet weather gear.

If it’s cold they ask if you have any spare gloves. Do not give them your spare gloves. You will never see them again. But at the same time, you kind of seem honor bound to help them out. Because if you don’t, you’ll spend the whole ride wondering what you should have done. You can’t win.


If you find yourself mentioned on this list you know what to do. Don’t take it to heart and stop. Seriously just stop!

Also Read: Is Riding A Bike Good Exercise? 7 Exercise Benefits Of Real Bikes Vs. Stationary Bikes

Should you have any questions or require further clarification on the topic, please feel free to connect with our expert author Euan Viveash by leaving a comment below. We value your engagement and are here to assist you.

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Euan McKenzie

Euan McKenzie

Euan McKenzie – an avid cyclist with an unyielding competitive spirit. With several years of national-level cycling experience under his belt, Euan's passion for biking has led him to pursue a career in writing. As a writer for, Euan imparts his extensive knowledge and expertise on all things cycling – from training and nutrition to gear reviews and more.

Euan's fervor for cycling is contagious, and his articles never fail to inform and captivate readers. He has a remarkable ability to simplify intricate concepts, making them accessible to both seasoned cyclists and beginners alike. With Euan's articles, you can be confident that you'll gain valuable insights and tips to help you achieve your cycling aspirations.


47 thoughts on “The 15 Types Of Cyclists We All Hate”

    • You are incredibly unintelligible. This author is an amazingly experienced rider and has been willing to share what he has learned.

      • “You are incredibly unintelligible”
        You, my friend, are an idiot who doesn’t know how to use the English language. That must be because you think it’s cool that ride your bicycle all the time.

    • Individual cyclist is fine and I respect him or her on the road. They need to do it for commuting to work or easier way going from A to B.

      What it is not cool, it’s the group of cyclists with a team outfits thinking they are some sort of racing Sky team that the whole road is blocked for them and yet they are dragging on the road.

      Stop and let the long trail of cars passing through and continue your journey. You are not a pro, you are a bloody amateur. Remember that!!! Inconsiderate arseholes.

    • In my years of cycling, I had given up all these hates towards cyclists, being less of a cry baby and appreciate them instead. Let them be, maybe they will grow up sometime.

  1. Very enjoyable. I only clearly saw myself in the “used to be really fit” but it was a bit in the fuzzy gray area on about four to five others.

    • Oh no, you don’t understand, and apologies if I didn’t make it clear enough: It was actually a reference to when I was a kid, and this girl just blew past me going up the hill; I mean, she was just incredible. It was not meant to be a shallow sexist comment, and if you took it that way, then I’m sorry I didn’t make it clearer. She was a force of nature, and she was skilled, and just well… incredible. At the time I was thinking here was someone who would want to got riding every weekend along trails and if one day we had kids, we could take them out trail riding every weekend as well….. But alas, I never saw her again…..she was just too fast….I mean, I was never going to compete in the Olympics, but at the time I was fitter than most, and that’s not to say other people didn’t pass me by either, but she was so fit, and so fast, and….. I was 18. Give me a break. 🙂

      It was also supposed to reference the fact that it just doesn’t matter what is or isn’t between your legs on a bike. I couldn’t care less. I really couldn’t. But thanks for reading anyway, Erin. I’ve been meaning to respond for over a year to your comment… Finally got round to it.

  2. SpandDexers!!!

    Same folks that are the Race on Benefit ride.

    If you are a team or ride like a team and take over the road and or trail, Fuck Off!!

    Those folks give more fodder for tin canners to aim at me while I commute and recreation ride.

    You general are not friendly, run the lights, prevent pedestrians from crossing, bully other riders and pretty much are the worst riders on the road, don’t believe me, hear yourself while in a tin can and near a group of them…. ASSHATS the lot of them.

  3. Really enjoyed your article. Especially liked the tongue-in-cheek humor about the girl passing you or the person with the basket on his/her bike whizzing by. Good humor, obviously not appreciated by all (c’est la vie). I remember recently cranking up “Cardiac Hill” on Peachtree Road in Atlanta and a guy twice my age (58) passed me going uphill faster than I go downhill. I pulled over and cried.


    • I hate cyclists who seem to feel entitled to the rights of pedestrians–cyclists who ride *against* traffic and who *ride in crosswalks* and refuse to dismount. They are RSS-wholes who turn car drivers and pedestrians against cyclists.

  4. You forgot the one that drives normal riders crazy….the “Road Snoot” these people will ignore everyone or be extremely condescending to anyone on a “Lesser” machine or will not even give you the friendly nod when passing . I’ve passed these people in the middle of nowhere, only to be ignored.
    I make damn sure they hear me.

  5. I met a riding buddy over 40 years ago when his group of team-orange jerseys passed me on a covered bridge tour. I was riding leisurely with a friend and her mother but I was on my 3-speed Raleigh RSW-16 (16″x2″ tires – Raleigh’s answer to a Mouton). I heard a high pitched laugh as the orange club pack whizzed by. I excused myself from the ladies and caught up to the ‘team’. After introducing myself to the laugher, I returned to the ladies. We’ve been good friends ever since.

  6. “Cyclists who don’t look after their bikes.”

    Not wanting to be rude, but not really any of your business?

    The other ones I can at least understand, this one? Nope. Not your bike not your concern.
    Someone who cries because their bike gets a small scratch? Yeah, it’s a bit infantile so I get it, but if someone neglects their bike, then so be it?

    My bike is a rusted up PoS now, mostly because my city is WAY to hilly (one looong uphill struggle after a full day out of town really is not fun), I live too far north so over half the year it’s just miserable to cycle, and I am not deluded enough to fancy myself a Tour de France competitor.
    So banged and “care-worn” my bike became.

    If you’re looking at peoples banged up bikes and getting annoyed by it, your priorities are misplaced. It’s the owner’s bike to damage and ultimately lose.

  7. You forgot those guys that have a bike(a really nice bike) and like to talk bikes whenever they need to sound educated or cool,talking and looking you in the eye all confidently and making slow hand gestures to look sophisticated as they innocently school you, but never actually ride those nice bikes that sit in their living room,EVER.

    They just always somehow know just a little more about it than you, because of all the riding they did to junior high as a kid on their small BMX bike, or a buddy they know who told them some things, or advice they get from that old “most interesting man in the world” type of guy they know at work who road for 30 years with or what not.. Yup,they’re the albatross no matter how long its been and you’re just an amateur,always.

    These types (at least the one I know) have a personality somewhere in the categories of the Chronically Unprepared, Uber Fit and Cyclists who don’t look after their bikes. No matter how long its been since they’ve actually ridden a bike,something,i have no idea what it is, will motivate them once a year to a year &1/2 to do some riding, or , do 2 or 4 really big marathon length rides in a month to 2 month period,dragging you along (I made that choice, I just wanted to ride with a friend for once).

    Suddenly, they’re the hero, they’ve conquered the earth. Then as quick as they came on board with the life of being a “cyclist” they flake up and blow away.. They dont even look at a bike and you never hear about it again for another year or two,you can’t get them to get on a bike no matter what it takes,until suddenly,right at the point you think they’ll never get on a bike again, they show up on your most recent facebook post of all the nice outdoor photos you took on a ride saying ” Dude “We” need to get back into riding”

  8. And #16 Senior citizens passing you on their e-bikes 🙂 I mean, good for them to be out and about, but to be giving your all going uphill, and then being passed by some old folk easily passing you by still feels somewhat off.

  9. I can add a further dislike. I work at a small cafe and I mean small. It’s in a beautiful location, ideal for walkers and families. We often have large groups of cyclists arriving without having booked and they take over, dumping bikes in places reserved for cars and the disabled albeit there being places clearly marked for cycles. They enter the cafe mob handed, expect to be served immediately and despite the fact that there is a tap for them outside to fill water bottles, they expect the waitresses to replenish them even though they can see we are extremely busy. They are dressed for being outside, we are not , yet they sit outside demanding we serve them hale, rain or shine in our indoor attire and then they leave, they leave their dishes for us to collect. Ignorant, arrogant are the only words. If cycling is supposed to keep you fit, all I can say is it’s a myth. Most of the women are overweight and wrinkley old arses should not be stuffed into Lycra.

    • @RubyT… So if you hate these large groups so much, do you turn away their custom and refuse to take their money?
      You get ignorant, arrogant and demanding people in all walks of life.

  10. The most annoying cyclists to me are ones who are rude to people who use bikes as a means to get around, not just to exercise and socialize. I ride a bike to my job every day and I use paths some of the way, and I’ll get comments about my bike, not wearing one of those silly lycra spandex getups or pointed helmets, or my cycling skills. Just mind your own business and pass me. Don’t keep pace to harass me verbally. You don’t own the trail, people walk, Jog, walk their dogs and skateboard on it as well. It’s public property.

  11. The ones who ride their bike on the sidewalk and tell pedestrians to move. These are the biggest d*cks of all bike riders.

  12. The Uber Fit Cyclist…. So the author is jealous of anyone who can ride quicker, further or climb higher.

    Its all relative, they’ll always be someone fitter out there. I thought I “wasnt bad” until I did one climb that features in the Tour de France. I was doing it quite rested, at my full gas and my heart rate and powermeter (for my skinny legs) was way high.
    Then I saw one of the professionals do that same climb an entire 36 minutes quicker than my effort….. And on that stage he had already raced 140km over 3 other climbs before he got to the bottom of my climb and he was on day 17 ( 2829.5 km in ) !!!

    Am I jealous…. NO. Fair play to him.

    *He ended up coming 3rd in the TDF that year.

  13. This is a great article — clever, honest, funny, and serious at the same time. As a cyclist, there is one more that I’d add to your list. The cyclist who refuses to let another cyclist know he/she is coming up on you, and passes within one inch of your handlebars. What is this? It only takes 2 seconds to say, “passing on your left.” It doesn’t make any sense. I use a mirror and watch & listen. But there are times when I’m on a quiet back road, just cruising and enjoying the scenery — no traffic to be seen or heard — when suddenly, an asshole dusts me and scares the shit out of me. What purpose does this serve? Does it make you feel like a super-duper-rider? Guess what, dumbshit — it makes you look stupid. If I were to sneeze, cough, swerve 2 inches to avoid a rock, we’re both toast. “Grow up,” is all I have to say to these people. It happened to me one time on an organized ride (no one around us), so I went up to the person at the next sag stop and told her that she scared the shit out of me. She apologized and slunk off into oblivion, never to be seen again by me that day. Another time I said something to someone and he turned and laughingly bellowed, “Oops, sorry, PASSING!” I’m a female rider. Does this happen to male riders?

  14. Having taken up cycling at the age of 57, I like to think I fall in the “Uber Fit Cyclist” category in most of the traits. Except of course being actually ‘Uber Fit’! More like a midlife crisis thing – have the money to spend on high end bikes and accessories and the time to spare chasing Strava segment times. Ego still plays a large part – you start feeling bad if anyone overtakes you – doesn’t necessarily have to be a member of the opposite sex!

  15. The ones on sidewalks and expect you to stop and yield to them. Why can’t they slow down and pass me – on the freaking sidewalk that is?

  16. Every single biker pushing their luck amongst motor vehicle traffic. Trust me, you have no chance against even the tiniest of cars. Don’t try to outmuscle anything with an engine, you’re bound to be on the losing side.

    Also, spandex. C’mon, get real wouldya?

  17. I don’t really have a problem with anyone except for those who all at the same time: Don’t wear a helmet, ride with a phone in one hand, go on the wrong side of the road, and ride without lights at night. I mean talk about suicidal.

    But I think a follow up article about different types of drivers and their interactions with cyclists would be nice.

  18. How about the obnoxious ones…that have to announce themselves at earth shattering levels? I am getting over a devastating knee injury–I haven’t been on a bike in three years…. and I am literally re-training myself how to ride. So I am starting small in my own neighborhood. I pick 7:30 am because no one is out there. Not today. I turn around on the road, only to be startled by a loud “passing on your left.” It was at ear shattering levels. This jerk and his “I’m so perfect” girlfriend. I snapped “yeah”- which should have given him a clue I wasn’t happy with his over-wrought obnoxiously loud greeting. “Thank you” he replied, as loud as he was before. It sucks enough as it is trying to get past this injury…the last thing I need is to have to deal with a Mr. Showoff.

  19. Being passed by cyclists with baskets on the front of their bike-
    My father was a 2hr 35 marathon runner at 44 after starting at 40 but turned to cycling due to injury and applied the same dedication to that; he used to put £20 a week away in the cycle shop so he could afford some new gear, a new chain ring, bike tape, a lever, bit by bit he built up his racing bike. It was very rarely seen except on a sunny day and that was before he bought tri-spoke wheels and tubs. Every other time he was the “basket” mana, quietly having an extended ride home in his ‘Ron Hill’ bottoms and the little ruck sack on his back, mudguards and wider tyres, it was his winter bike. He made me laugh though with his regular destruction of all the gear types as he acknowledged them as he went past and pushed those pedals harder to make sure no comeback, they rarely caught him, brought back memories, thanks for the laugh

  20. I have learned something over the years living in a hilly metropolitan area.

    Bicycle riders should not be allowed on narrow winding roads in the hills where the speed limit is 30 MPH.

    Bicycle riders should be required to have license plates so they can be reported when they ride unsafely. For example, refusing to move to the side of the road to yield the right of way to a larger vehicle that is trying to pass them safely.

    I have had it bludgeoned into me over the years that at least 1/3 of bicycle riders are simply conceited arrogant narcissists who need a good spanking by their Mommies.

  21. Great article! For me the absolute worst type of cyclist is the poser a.k.a. the MAMIL with the $800 fake team outfit that matches his bike frame, legs shaven etc. They tend to be the biggest, most selfish assholes on the road and give the rest of the cycling world a bad name. The worst of these worst are the ones who ride irresponsibly on the local bike paths on Saturday when families, joggers, etc are also using that path. It’s not so much the speed. It’s the attitude when they come across anyone else and either 1) shake their heads because the plebeians got in the way of THEIR need to beat the local legend’s Strava time by 5 seconds or 2) the smarmy comments they make because someone caused them to have to break their cadence. Hey jackasses…you don’t own the path, the road, or any other surface you’re riding on outside of your driveway, so humble yourselves and for Pete’s sake, when a fellow human being says “good morning” to you, say it back, even if that human is on a bike deemed “lesser” than yours or if they have hairy legs, no Lycra, sub-$300 helmets etc. Don’t just stare at them in disbelief that someone dared to say hi to you yet they clearly don’t belong in “your” wheelhouse. Maybe it would help with the rest of us not perceiving you to be stuck up assholes. Just sayin. Also “share the road” goes both ways, so stop blocking cars by riding side by side. It pisses off the normal people.

  22. Amusing post. I do agree with you about riding in a manner that endangers others, such as blowing through red lights. But girls passing me? I don’t care. Women passing me? I don’t care. Anyone passing me? I don’t care. Clean-freak fanatics or folks who have “dirty bikes?” Again, I don’t care. I’ll tell you what I care about: I care about riding and relating to folks in a way that promotes safety, basic courtesy and the sheer enjoyment and fun of riding. There’s nothing wrong with friendly competition, but I want nothing to do with arrogant, mean-spirited people.

    99% of my riding is commuting, and I love it. I do it year round in Chicago, in all weather. I ride when no one else is riding — pouring rain; raw, chilly, slushy snow, and I ride in temperatures as cold as 15 below 0 (F) windchill. I’m 64 years old, and I love it. I still work a 40 hours a week.

    What kind of bikes do I ride? I need a super-low maintenance, simple, reliable, low-cost bike with common, easy-to-find parts. So, for my day-to-day commuter, I have a 1980’s,”girl’s” Schwinn World Sport frame (4130 main tubes) equipped with 700c wheels, 25mm Gatorskins, and a Shimano coaster brake in the rear (I’ve destroyed too many rims using caliper brakes, and even if I were to shell out the money for a frame that could handle disk brakes, they’s be destroyed due to my winter riding, as I wouldn’t touch them until spring). I have a Wald basket up front, and I have fenders and a rear rack. I replaced the cup & cone bottom bracket with a cartridge bearing. For added security, I have a caliper brake up front, and I have upright, tourist-style bars. In the event I have a flat when I’m ready to leave for work, I have back-up bike with identical wheels, tires, brakes, etc all mounted on a 1970s circa Lotus Mixte (another female frame!), which is ready to ride.

    When I get home from work, I have neither the time nor desire to clean my chain or anything else. In the winter, when my chain and crankset are coated with snow and slush, I just roll the bike into the basement, lock it up, and allow the snow to melt, depositing road salt and grit on the chain and everywhere else. Once a week I’ll blast the chain with — Sacrilege….Blasphemy… WD-40, which is my chain-lube-of-choice!! In the spring, I do a complete overhaul. During icy weather, I have 700×30 Schwalbe Marathon studded tires, mounted on a duplicate set of wheels.

    All that said, I do have a “pretty” bike that I only ride on dry, sunny days. It’s a 1980s candy-apple red Fuji Sagres with tourist bars. I love it. It’s a fast, quick handling fun bike.

    You should see the bikes that I built for my wife; I’ll save that story for later!

    So now you have it: Marty’s Bicycle Philosophy

  23. How about the cyclists that refuse to announce when they are passing you on the trail??
    They sneak up behind me (and I am a female out there totally on my own so it always startles me) then they race around you with no respect. I even call out “Thanks for the signal” and they NEVER reply!

    Sometimes I get un shy enough to say “hello” or “good morning” to a passing cyclist and they say NOTHING back. No wonder on our trail there is a sign that says “Be Friendly” and another sign saying “Announce when passing.” It’s truly pathetic in this day and age they need to put signs in the ground trying to teach rude cyclists the art of manners.

    Another annoyance: Cyclists that double up and take the entire lane so it is hard to pass them.

  24. The ego cyclist is the worse. For example. I’m out riding on a quiet night, mind you I have been on this trail for the past 2 hours up hill incline and no one is around. When I arrive in the next town I decided to turn around. Now riding for 3 hours on the way back I notice lights in the distance behind me. Now I’m no lance Armstrong but I do ride hard especially considering I’m on a 40 plus pound budget bike with gear for long hauls. Yet these lights still behind me but one is breaking from pack. Being that it’s dark and I’m deep in the woods I’m not taking my chances running into who knows what. So as I’m hauling low and behold, egotistical action at it finest. This Bogart finally catches up twenty minutes later and doesn’t even acknowledge himself and speeds back up if I approach. Talk about ego issues, I believe he was on an assisted bike as well or just way lighter. But he just had to pass me. So much even that he blew through street intersections just to keep up and left his crew behind just to pass me. Egocentric people in general are bad but the ego cyclist is by far the most contradictory of the cycling lifestyle.

  25. “serious cyclists” are laughable wimps on their drop-bar racing style bikes. They think they look cool but they just look stupid. And they always MUST PASS the recreational cyclist. I see these guys all the time when I’m riding my hybrid bike. I want to beat the sh!t out of them. They’re not intelligent enough to know that their low-slung drop-bar racing style bike is destroying their back, neck, shoulders, hands and wrists. Idiots.

  26. I thought “recumbent bike guy” would be on this list.

    I hate the ones that sit out three abreast in a double-file line of riders on a busy, windy two-lane road with no shoulder or worse have a chase car. The latter of which was recently on a section of US 93 called “Bloody Alley” as it was named the Most Dangerous Highway in America by Value Penguin. Multiple head-on fatal collisions on this road weekly and someone wants to do it on a bicycle? Madness!

  27. How about the cyclist who thinks they own a public path, and opts to yell at pedestrians when they’re no where near them.

    As if there wasn’t enough animosity towards cyclists on the road. Poorly representing cyclists on even a public path is disgusting. And this is a cyclist making this comment.

    Poor behavior like that makes me less inclined to ride or inspire others to. And anyone who supports that kind of behavior is doing a disservice to the sport and anyone who enjoys it.

    We get it, you’re a dentist in your late 40s. But I promise you that slowing down for a pedestrian heavy area of a path won’t impact your trash strava times.

  28. I thought this article was hilarious!
    I’ve recently taken to the Ebike scene, having had both knees replaced, left hip replaced, right shoulder replaced, a tumor dug out of my spinal cord, and a heart attack (all by age 57, kinda an overachiever) but not ready to stop riding.
    Gotta say, if you really want to see how big of an asshole a person can be, get on a E-Bike and watch how cyclist treat you. How dare we invade your little Tour de France world.


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